Hohoho

Tajuk tak boley blah.

wah, pejam celik, tido, makan, meronggeng. dah lima bulan nak masuk ke enam bulan aku keja kat E Charis ni. Masa masuk tu memang dah tanam azam tak nak ngumpat boss or sesapa la kat opis tu. tapi dah nak masuk bulan ke enam ni dah dekat 2 kontena kowt aku ngumpat. haha.

well, kerja memang banyak gila nak mati. aku berkerja macam dah 3 tahun pengalaman. involve ngan authorities paling mencabar since requirements dorang pelik2. yelah, kerja kerajaan kan heaven. mana nak lekat kat meja. susah gila nak buat appoinment. :(

opis aku ni kecik je. not even 10 orang pun yang keja. all of us are Malay. so, everyone are quite close lah. yang best nya, I am the only gadis sunti kat opis :) and ada 3 guys yang belom kawen. so, best la jugak. center of attraction orang kata eh? kahkahkah. dah kerja 5 bulan++ ni, macam dah kenal everyone punya personality lah. which one sekepala, mana satu kepala angin kan. tapi overall, takdelah stress mana pun. stress tapi since semua orang pun cool, so tak rasa sangat la stress nya. seronok lah.

since my boss is a chinese, most of the time he speaks English with us. So, I use this opportunity to improve my English skill lah. sometimes, I feel like speaking English can boost up my confidence level. I know, my English is terrible but at least I am trying my best to improve. I think my boss knows my intention. and I think he will understand me well if I explain him regarding any matter with English. Even during meeting with client I am more comfortable using English. Even tho it just broken and campuraduk, I think I will leave a good impression to client. So far, most of my client is chinese and ofc they speak English very well. and I envy that. REALLY ENVY okay.

tapi, my officemate always teasing me on that matter. well, biasa lah melayu kan. (rollingeyes) its not that I want to mengampu boss or what, but I think its for my own good kan, so whats the matter. Its only a few of them, but sometimes when they keep repeat what they said and you will get annoying right. on that level, I just leave them without a respond. I dont why malay have this kind of annoying punya perangai. bukan nak bagi semangat, lagi nak merendah2kan orang yang mencuba. so irritating betul.

but that matter is not a big problems. its about how you handle them. so, I dont take it into my heart lah. habes kat situ je lah. malas nak pikir since I have to work with them for a long times kan. so, let by gone be by gone memang sangat bagus di apply kat sini.

I will gain as much as experiences here, and will look up for any wide opportunity in the future. well, when you go to the interview and you can speak english well, for sure it will give you a big big credit right. an advantages okay since not many malay can speaks English fluently. *including me*

so everyone, lets together we improve our English since it is an International language plus its Malaysian second language right.


:)

 p/s: i love myself

crush.

ramai betol.

tah mana yang betol-betol tah. konpius.
bukan main sedih sebab one of my crush tak bertunang.

tapi sekarang dah ok!

Wish.

I wish I could see through your eyes so I would know what you like to see. I wish I knew your wishes, so I could give you everything you want. I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do, and together we could make them come true. I wish I knew what makes you happy, so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world. And lastly, I wish I were a cell in your blood, so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart.

rindu.

argh. rindu yang tak pernah habes. rindu sangat.

the only left is our picture and of course the valuable memories. its too much and I cant ever forget all that. too bitter-sweet.

what ever it is, still loving you deep deep.

AlFatihah.

Genap setahun.

awak,

pejam celik, pejam celik dah setahun awak pergi. sesuatu yang tak terjangka dek akal saya yang satu hari nanti saya takkan dapat jumpa awak lagi. semua kenangan kita, setiap apa yang awak pernah janji semua masih fresh dalam kepala saya. otak saya masih memproses setiap dari apa yang kita pernah buat bersama. 

saya sedih sangat now ni. banyak sangat yang saya pikir tapi takde tempat saya nak mengadu. rindunya kat suara awak. rindu segala-gala tentang awak. sungguh. walau kita berada di tempat yang sangat jauh, tapi awak tetap di tempat yang sama di hati saya.

semoga Allah tempatkan awak di kalangan hamba-hambaNya yang di redhai.

Al-Fatihah.

what exactly I feel

Kadang-kadang aku susah nak paham apa yang aku rasa. suka ke tak. kawan ke bercinta. pelik kan. tak sure apa yang diri sendiri rasa adalah sangat tak cool. well, as everyone (?) knows aku ada crush kat opis aku. kan kan. dah tahu kan? and now the feeling is decreasing. untung la kalw graph dia makin lama makin turun, ni jadi masalah bila dia ada trun ada naik. tapi secara overall, memang dah berkurang. almost natural.

plus, tadi aku online fb kat opis sebab nak bergosip ngan yana. whats unexpected bila suddenly he popped up and say hi to me. WEIRD! usually I was the one who started the conversation. only this few day, I was holding myself from tegur him. and I had succeed. he was the one who started the chat la. weird kan. ke tak? ke biasa je. actually we only talked about work, office, and people around the office. how bored can it be when you have to talk about work all day. bluegh. just because I have a crush on him I layan dia. kalw dia tak masuk list crush, for sure I will ignore him. just like before I had a feeling towards him. semua benda yang dia cerita just directly went from right to left ear. no meaning. sekarang dah menyesal sebab took for granted. padan muka.

oh, tadi chat ngan dia for whole day. how nice kan that feeling. tu before ni lah punya cerita. actually I was merajuk because when I logged in FB this morning I saw his picture. a picture at his friend's wedding. and he is with a girl. i am NOT jealous. seriously. but I just feel slightly unfair. i am not sure either that girl is his girlfriend or what-so-ever. eh, apa motip aku tulis part ni kalw aku tak jealous? hewhewhew

*now I talk IF that girl is his girlfriend*

tak adil kan. dia ada girlfriend and he treats other girl(me) so nicely. he even remember the promise I made  with him last month. he reminds me about the promise and hope we can meet. isnt that we call as flirting? its unfair. UNFAIR. for both of us *me and his girlfriend* why girl always tend to hold what she feels. kenapa eh. kenapa susah sangat kita nak declare yang kita suka kat someone ni. aku memang tak lah nak declare ni. bukan tak berani. tapi the after effect buat aku rasa takut. i always think about what will happen if I do this and do that. so automatically I will hesitate. aku rasa tadi masa aku tengah chat, kakak and abang(euuuw) opis aku ternampak and they were gossiping la at the back. they suddenly talking about this mamat's girlfriend which is in sarawak. daerah mana lah, hape lah kan bagai. its so loud and I heard them word by word. they were like sengaja nak bagi aku dengar and bagi aku sedar diri. well hello, I dont have that crush-thing-whatsoever feeling lagi lah towards that mamat. (yeke ni ?) when I saw the picture i set my mind to sort my feeling and luckily this time my mind made my heart listened to what it said. so now its already sorted.di tambah lagi, aku rasa apa yang aku doa dah di makbulkan kowt. which I want Allah to show me if he is the right one or not. my instinct says hes not the one. plus some dream I had last few days.

in this current situation, i am so grateful to have leBai to layan me babbling about this and that. sometimes, she kinda harsh but thats better. she told me the right thing not the one that i want to hear. so i will get myself straight after talked to her. thanx bai. peh, punya la panjang post just to show my appreciation kat leBai.lol ok lah. nak tdo. esok nak kena pegi site. lama nyewww tak kena panas. oh my sunblock! night world