FRIENDSHIP

malam tadi tengah guling-guling atas katil, tiba-tiba dapat notification message kat facebook. unexpected person message aku. tak sangka pulak kan dia membawa berita buruk kat aku.

one of my bestie meninggal. kitorang rapat gila-gila time matrix. seriously rapat.

kitorang kenal time orientation week. masa tu tengah tunggu turn nak naik block. nak naik block pun kena ikut turutan. lame betul lah. macam la kitorang kanak-kanak. dia kebetulan duduk sebelah aku. yelah, baru 2 3 hari masuk matrix. sape je lah yang aku nak rapat kan. aku pun buat muka tak malu say Hi kat dia. sembang-sembang sampai la turn block kitorang pulak. habes dah. ingat kan tak jumpa dah dia pastu. tapi esoknya, jumpa dia lagi. since then, kitorang memang rapat gila. pegi makan, lepak sekali. padahal dia budak Fizik, aku pulak budak bio.

sayangnya matrix setahun je. kitorang apply masuk U pun sama2. hope dapat masuk U sama. tapi sayangnya, aku dapat UMP dia dapat UPM. sengal kan sistem salah baca application kitorang. kalw tak sure kitorang still rapat sampai sekarang. nak dijadikan cerita, masa first year kat U kitorang gaduh besar. kat phone je padahal. tapi memang siap jerit-jerit, nanges-nanges bagai. sebab nya, biarlah antara aku dan dia je tahu. semenjak tu, kitorang tak contact langsung. langsung means dia siap tukar number bagai. memang lepas tu tak jumpa tak apa langsung.

sampai la 2 3 bulan kebelakangan ni, aku asyik ingat dia je. tah kenapa. tapi aku biasa lah, takde effort langsung nak cari number dia. facebook pun tak add. memang berpatah arang lah orang cakap tu. sampai la malam tadi bila one of her cousin messaged me and told that she already left us. left the memories behind dan pergi menghadap Allah.

aku memang kalau boleh tak nak terima hakikat langsung kowt. yelah, orang yang korang sayang. yang dulu gaduh, sembang, gelak-gelak ngan korang tiba-tiba dah takde kan. sapa nak percaya on the spot kan. aku memang tak percaya, sampai lah aku baca paper siang tadi. metro, berita harian. sedih gila. nak nanges tapi air mata tak keluar.

this is my second time to be left by the people that I love. I mean, not a family. First was Izzat, and now her. sampai aku terpikir adakah sebab dorang berkawan ngan aku, dorang pergi. now, aku dah pikir bukan-bukan pasal semua yang pernah ada special relationship ngan aku. I know, I am not suppose to think like that but I cant help my self not to think.

aku tahu tu semua dah ketentuan Allah. tapi tu lah, its too sudden.

memang speechless tau. aku rasa depress yang amat sekarang. seriously. rasa nak demam pun ada. tah lah. its something that I cant write here. I have to meet someone that know two of us. and express what I feel right now. sedihnya. bestie korang dah takde. what else you can said. 

menyesal sebab gaduh pun dah tak guna. salah aku sebab takde effort nak berbaik balik. ego aku ni kadang-kadang melampau. dia ada juga la usaha message aku, tapi aku buat tak tahu. semua pun salah aku. all were in past. semenyesal mana pun aku sekarang dah tak boleh nak patah balik masa.

Insya-Allah, kalw aku ada kelapangan,  weekend ni nak pegi melawat family dia. kitorang punya baik sampai family kitorang pun tahu pasal frenship kitorang.

kawan-kawan yang baca blog ni, sama-samalah kita sedekahkan Al-Fatihah dekat Rozaimah Mohd Badawi. Semoga roh beliau di tempatkan di kalangan hamba-hambaNya yang beriman. 

Allah lagi sayangkan kau, Zai. kau baik sangat. aku yang tak tahu nak appreciate friendship kita dulu. thanks for everything. doa aku sentiasa untuk kau. kenangan kita walaupun setahun je, tapi banyak sangat. sampai bila-bila pun kau tetap bestfriend aku. sayang kau, babe!

Alfatihah

Thats what we call life.

Yeah. had been working for a month and half. I had learnt so many things. a good and bad too. today in the office we got some a tension mode where everyone was so silence. Its fortunate for me since I dont have much work. Both my boss and senior engineer were gone to meeting. so there were only a few peoples in the office. 3 seniors and 4 new ones.

everything were okay at first until we were preparing for tender document where one of my office mate had made some mistake. I guess its not a big deal, but one of the senior was so freaking out. she screamed to us( juniors) like we never done anything at the office. seriously, its not a big deal but I dont know why she became that mad.

I am the very new one there, so its only me to face her. since I dont want the situation become worse, so I hold myself from talking back to her just like I always do. yeah, silent is the best solution. I let her anger out. yeah, I felt like crying to be shouted for a mistake that I dont even do. feels so stupid. and I am still okay with her. i dont want, because of that things we may have a problems later I hold what I feel inside. I have to work there for 2 years atleast. so I have to cope with everyone habits and personality. I am trying to be profesional as much as I can.

enough with that.

because of that matter, 3 office-mate have expressed their dissatisfaction towards this one senior. all of them said a same things. its all about how this senior cant even tolerate with others. even the seniors cant even into her.shes not a boss, but why we have to obey everything she told us. i felt so offended when she said, its not that hard to design a structure. the building already done, so the engineer just have to design based on that. she was talking about that with me, she just dont understand why we, engineer need 2-3 month just to complete both infra and structure design. now I know why architect and engineer cant have a conversation about works, its all contra. seriously.

luckily she was gone to meeting this evening. all 4 new workers (including me) expressed our dissatisfaction. well, when younger generations talk, its full with cursing. especially 3 of them are men and I am the only girl there. for sure I acted like innocent. just listened to them and laugh. so hypocrite right. LOL I was not act like I usually do. So not me!

well, its only a month and half we already got this kind of problem. I dont know how would it be for the next 3 4 months. hope everything will go well.

 ( ofc, my office isnt this big and grand.lol)

wish me luck, people!

mengular.

Tadi pagi, Han dan aku pergi JPS dekat Nusajaya. Journey yang mengambil masa 20minit tu lagi lama dari meeting yang kitorang attend tu. meeting tak sampai 10minit. huh. pegi 9 lebih, pukul 10 lebih dah setel. dah keluar dari bangunan tempat meeting tu pun. di sebabkan both of us ni the very fresh civil engineer, kitorang pun berpakat nak mengular. lepak kat cafe, pung pang pung pang... mengumpat 16 bakul. peh, heaven gila. mengular punya lama. yang kalw aku buat satu design kat esteem dah siap satu floor. haha. memang lama gila lepak tengok orang-orang yang kerja kat situ yang mengular jugak la kerjanya.

tapi at least segala beban dalam kepala otak aku ni dah lepas la semua. memang terasa gila macam ada satu batu yang terangkat dari kepala aku. lega sangat. terus hilang rasa stress, boring nak kerja. kira balik office pukul 3 petang tadi, aku dah fresh lah. yelah, selama ni pendam je apa aku rasa. 2 bulan kowt, pendam. so tadi, Han kata cakap je. so, jadi la sesi luahan hati. aku tak risaw sangat since dia lelaki. so, kebarangkalian nak menyampai tu kurang. lagipun kitorang mengumpat orang yang sama. jangan tak tahu, orang lelaki punya level mengumpat lagi hebat.haha.

then, kitorang gerak pegi McD. makan McD dengan orang hensem woi. haha. aku admit dia handsome ni. haha. pung pang pung pang, mengumpat sesi kedua. tapi ni banyak lebih pasal kitorang la. family, sekolah. camtu la. banyak gila aku cakap. dah lama tak cakap banyak wei sejak sejak keja ni. asyik stress je. muka pun ketat. haish. satu tak banyak cakap memang sebab aku stress banyak benda tak tahu. sebab kedua pulak, gila apa baru sebulan keja nak banyak cakap kan. slow slow lah. nak mix around kena la tengok juga range orang camne kan. takkan nak main hentam je. since range kali ni educated and agak berusia, so lain la cara nak approach. kat office tu yang muda cuma 4 orang. aku , Han, Zam ngan Iz. boleh la lawak lawak moden ni. aku tak buat lawak pun. just tumpang gelak.

ok. sekarang ni aku tak tahu camne nak endingkan entry ni. macam diary je. haha. a few things that I do today---hah, camtu lah konon-kononnya kalaw dalam diary. so, kalw habes camni je, oklah kan? kalau tak ok pun. do I care? haha

picture is the best to describe thing!

i guess nothing should say or write here.

just let the picture talk.lol

the process in between to have my name there already passed. no need to tell lah kan. and of course to LeBai to give me a support. she knew what happened on that day. HAX

FRENEMY IS THE BEST!




and I know my English is messy